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As you may have guessed by now, we ended having sex together, she was a virgin, although she had been with other guys before, but had never passed the "heavy petting state". Once we had sex, I was awed by it, but, I was awed because of the sentimental relation that we had shared, a thing she wasted no time in pointing me out again, by that time, believe me, I already knew I wasn't normal, besides, I had started looking at women much, much more, but in a totally different way. I was envious, I envied everything about them, I envied everything about being a woman, the way they could get dressed, the way that they expressed themselves, the way that they could feel sexy without being bothered, their figures.I started night and day, dreaming about being a woman, I no longer looked at women as the other gender, but as the gender I had to be, mind you, I wasn't gay, but I still looked at men and wondered, wondered about being with them while being a woman and as my discomfort with being a. But it was clear that both of us wanted to be together for as long as we could imagine. Marriage is a commitment, a statement of good faith declaring the intention to remain faithful to one partner. Yeah, they only work out about half the time, there are no guarantees in life. But it suddenly clicked that I was again doing something I had done before, I had been too afraid of Julie turning me down to risk telling her how I really felt, how much I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Because I didn’t feel like I was good enough for her, I hadn’t come out and told Julie I loved her, she read it in my mind first. Now, I hadn’t considered asking her to marry me because I didn’t feel good enough for her. Yet I had just seen with my own eyes (so to speak) that she saw things in me I didn’t. Fact is, what it really looked like is that Julie wanted to marry me, too, but considered it to be a pipe dream because she thought of herself as ‘damaged goods.’ It appeared as if we.
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